{"id":517,"date":"2010-02-17T14:00:02","date_gmt":"2010-02-17T18:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/?p=517"},"modified":"2010-02-17T14:00:02","modified_gmt":"2010-02-17T18:00:02","slug":"kissing-suzy-kolber-%c2%bb-blog-archive-%c2%bb-who-dat-who-dat-who-dat-gon-beat-dem-saints","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/?p=517","title":{"rendered":"Kissing Suzy Kolber \u00c2\u00bb Blog Archive \u00c2\u00bb WHO DAT! WHO DAT! WHO DAT GON BEAT DEM SAINTS?!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"570-SaintsFans\"<\/center><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

(Lafayette Street)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> I can%u2019t believe we%u2019re still shitfaced!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> I can!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> WE%u2019RE STILL FUCKING PARTYING OUR ASSES OFF!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> I don%u2019t even know what day it is!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> I haven%u2019t even gone back to work!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> I don%u2019t even know if there%u2019s still a job waiting for me!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> But who gives a shit?!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> THE SAINTS WON!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> The fucking Saints won!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> I can%u2019t believe it! I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AS I AM NOW!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> The Saints!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> The fucking Saints!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> Holy shit, THIS IS AWESOME.<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> I never want this to end.<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> This has to be the fucking greatest title celebration in the history of sports<\/a> title celebrations.<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> Agreed. I can%u2019t think of a sports title meaning more to one town than this!<\/p>\n

(door flies open)<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> FACK YOU! FACK YOU! FACK YOU! Oh, how easily people fackin%u2019 fahhhget! Do you New Ahhhhhleans faggots really think yar fackin%u2019 gay little title is impahhtant? Well, allow me to give you a little bit of a history lesson!<\/p>\n

(goes to jukebox<\/a><\/p>\n

, puts on Trapt record, every girl on the bar leaves)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> Who the hell are you?<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! No one wawnts to hee-yah yar smawll mahhhket questions! YOU CUNT HAY-AH!!!!! Travel with me back in fackin%u2019 time! It is Awktobah of 200fahhhhhh!!! And the legendary fans of fackin%u2019 LARRY BIRD NATION have been waiting 86 fackin%u2019 yee-ahs far a title! You think about awll the meaningful names that have strolled through Fenway Pahhhhk during that time! Freddie Lynn! Jim Rice! Rawjah Clemens! Yaz! TEDDY FACKIN%u2019 BALLGAME, WHOSE RECAHHHHD STILL OUTSHINES THAT OF DREW BREES!<\/p>\n

(takes off Sox hat and curls already-curled brim for no reason)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> What does this have to do with football?<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> It has to do with my fackin%u2019 cawk in yar mothah%u2019s vaghole! Now, back to the starry. 86 yee-ahs we waited! And I don%u2019t have to tell you about Game 6! YOU FACKIN%u2019 SAINTS FANS CANNAWT UNDAHSTAND WHAT THAT WAS LIKE! IT WAS LIKE MY HAHHHHHT WAS TARN OUT OF MY CAWK! 86 yee-ahs! And this pahhhticulah Awktobah, we found ow-ahselves down to Jetah, A-Rawd, and those New Yark faggots 3-0! Othah teams would have folded, BUT OW-AH FANS WOULD NAWT LET THAT HAPPEN! You know what happens next!<\/p>\n

(dips)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> Actually, I don%u2019t. I don%u2019t really follow baseball.<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> What? FACK YOU! This is nawt just basebawll! THIS IS RED SAWX NATION DRAWMA! Dave Rawbarts steals second! BIG PAPI! THE BLOODY SAWK! FOULKE GETS THE FINAL OUT! IF YOU DON%u2019T THINK THAT WAS THE MOST MEANINGFUL TITLE WIN OF ALL TIME, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN%u2019T BE WATCHING SPARTS!<\/p>\n

(Attends ESPN function at Sundance)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> I think you should leave.<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> NAWT UNTIL YOU ACKNAWLEDGE OW-AH TITLE! Nothing could pawssibly be biggah than that! EVAH! You cawll this a pahhty? Awll I see ahhhh dahkies ready to take my fackin%u2019 wawllet! And those chicks have tits that ahhhh subpahhhh! And look at awll the new Saints hats<\/a><\/p>\n

out hee-yah! You ahhhh nawt true fans! I%u2019ve been a diehahhhhd Sawx Nation citizen since 200fahhhhh! WE HAD A PARADE! WITH DUCK BOATS! THE ONLY TIME YOU FACKS WILL USE DUCK BOATS IS TO RESCUE RETAHHHDED DAHKIES FROM ROOFTOPS!<\/p>\n

(wears fingerless weightlifting gloves in casual setting)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> Just go the fuck back to Boston, will you?<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> NO! Nawt until I rank the most impahhhtant title wins of awll time! REAL SPARTS FANS RANK THINGS!<\/p>\n

1. 200FAHHHH RED SAWX
2. 2007 Red Sawx
3. %u201986 Celtics. GREATEST HALFCART TEAM OF AWLL TIME! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
4. %u201901 Pats! The Pats were-ah the Saints befahhhhh the Saints were-ah the Saints! Rawd Rust! Dick MacFeeeyahhhson! Tony Eason! Need I say fackin%u2019 more-ah?!
5. %u201908 Celtics. BUT KEVIN GAHHHNETT HAS BAD KNEES NOW AND THAT IS NAWT FAY-UH!<\/p>\n

You facks don%u2019t even crack the Tawp 5! No one cay-ahs about yar team unless I can relate it back to the Red Sawx!<\/p>\n

(skips town before meaningful sports event actually takes place, because he%u2019s too cool for it)<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 2:<\/b> Didn%u2019t 106 million people watch us win it all?<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> BECAWSE THEY WERE-AH HOPING TO PERHAPS RELIVE A BIT OF THE EUPHORIAHHHH FROM 200FAHHHHHH!!!\t You played far us! Don%u2019t you see? You played far the awnah of Tawmmy Brady, Billy Belichick, and Dustin Pedroiahhhh! YOU GOTTA LOVE PEDROIAH!<\/p>\n

Saint Fan 1:<\/b> Bouncer!<\/p>\n

Tommy:<\/b> What ahhh do you doin%u2019? AH you kickin%u2019 me out? YOU CAN%u2019T FACK WITH ME! I KNOW PEOPLE IN THE PRAWVIDENCE MAWB! RED SAWX NATION IS STILL CELEBRATING SIX YEE-AHS LATAH! CAWLL ME WHEN YOU DO THE SAME!!! YOU FACKS!<\/p>\n

Tags: Big Daddy Drew<\/a>, surprises after the jump<\/a><\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t\tThis entry was posted \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\ton Wednesday, February 17th, 2010 at 9:37 am\t\t\t\t\t\tand is filed under Uncategorized<\/a>. \t\t\t\t\t\tYou can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0<\/a> feed. \t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tYou can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed. \t\t\t\t\t\t \t\t\t\t\t<\/small> \t\t\t\t<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

via kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com<\/a><\/div>\n

A Fan disagrees how cool New Orleans winning the Super Bowl<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Posted via web<\/a> from alex chan’s posterous<\/a> <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Lafayette Street) Saint Fan 1: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Saint Fan 2: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Saint Fan 1: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Saint Fan 2: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Saint Fan 1: I can%u2019t believe we%u2019re still shitfaced! Saint Fan 2: I can! Saint Fan 1: WE%u2019RE STILL FUCKING PARTYING OUR ASSES OFF! Saint Fan 2: I don%u2019t even know what day it is! Saint Fan […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-517","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=517"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/517\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sporks.org\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}